Are You Not Sure if You're Ugly?

Those of us who don't happen to know if we would terrorize small children just by looking at them (due to the absence of small children on whom to test the hypothesis) used to just have to guess. There was no empirical way to determine just how ugly we were.

We'd walk around, forever in a funk, unsure whether the reason women backed away from us slowly was because we have faces that could stop clocks or whether it was because of the two liters of cologne that we were wearing.

Damn it, there should be something out there to help us! Friends can be unreliable. I don't expect any of my friends to come up to me and say "Dave, you know I hate to tell you this, and you know I'm your friend and everything, right? Well, I just have to tell you that...well...your face sort of...makes me want to hurl." Though I have wondered why they've all started wearing dark glasses when they're around me.

Do you think that's a sign?

Anyway, for those of us who are still unsure, Dapper Gentlemen has come to our rescue. They have an iPhone app that has hit it big recently called Ugly Meter. It's not a brand new app, but they recently came out with a Pro version (for those who are professionally ugly?) and it was featured on the Howard Stern show. After that, it became the second most-downloaded app after Angry Birds (nothing can dethrone the birds!).

This app will scan your face, and weigh you on a scale of 1 (super-hot) to 10 (should hide away in shame), giving you compliments or insults depending on your rating.

But does it truly work?


Apparently not all that well, considering that while it gave David Cameron a 7 rating ("If ugliness were bricks, you'd be the Great Wall of China") it gave Brad Pitt an 8 ("You could walk through a haunted house and come out with a paycheck"). Really? Maybe Brad's picture was just having a bad day.

Parents are, of course, worried about kids using this app to bully other kids, though Dapper Gentlemen says that the app is just intended to be "good fun." Personally, I wouldn't worry about it if I were a parent. If some kid is bullying your child about their looks, they're already doing it. An iPhone app isn't going to make it any worse.

Besides, if the app says that a kid is an 8, he can loudly proclaim "I look like Brad Pitt!"

Really, that's all you need to know if you're worried about somebody with personal self-image issues stumbling upon this app and unfortunately having their bad feelings about themselves reinforced. If it thinks Brad Pitt is ugly (I'm not a Pitt fan, but I can admit that he is a handsome slab of meat), then anybody else who uses it shouldn't incorporate it into their own self-image.

The most outrageous thing about this app isn't self-image issues.

It's that it costs five bucks to get it! The original Ugly Meter cost 99 cents.

What do you get for that extra four dollars?

Beauty tips?

You Don't Know Jack is on the iPhone/iPad!

I know that many of my readers have iPhones or iPads, and they love to play games on them. Who wouldn't?

For those trivia buffs out there, one of the best console/PC video trivia games has just come out for both devices. You Don't Know Jack has arrived!

The format of the game is that of a fictional game show, hosted by the ever-irreverent Cookie Masterson (voiced by Tom Gottlieb), and you are playing for lots of money. The faster you answer each question, the more money you get (or lose, if you get it wrong). There are also question variations, such as "Dis or Dat", where you're given seven names and you have to choose if the name is one category or another (as pictured above). Each game consists of three rounds, two 5-question rounds and then a "Jack Attack," where you can win big money. The object is...wait for it...to win the most money!

I reviewed the console version of the game on my Video Game Revue blog (check it out if you like video games!). This is a bit stripped down compared to the consoles, but surprisingly not as much as you would think.

First, there is no multiplayer, which is the mainstay of the console games. I guess it might be difficult to do over a 3G network, though. I don't know. I hope they're able to implement it at some point.

Secondly, there is no "Wrong Answer of the Game." In the console version, each episode is sponsored by some wacky product (banana toaster, anyone?). One wrong answer in the episode goes along with that product in some way. If you choose it, then instead of losing money, you gain big bucks! That's not in the Apple OS version.

Each episode is self-contained, meaning you will never see those questions again unless you play the same episode. No repeats! That's been a major problem in video trivia games for many years.

With twenty brand new episodes, completely different from the console/PC version, how can you go wrong? Especially when the questions are so timely? A Rebecca Black question? A question about Elizabeth Taylor's death? Am I asking too many questions? This is a game full of questions, so how can I be?

More episodes are promised as well.

At $2.99 ($4.99 for the iPad version), this game is a steal!

And it's hilariously fun to play.

We now return you to our regular, non-video game blog.

American Airlines iPhone app - something weird

American Airlines has introduced its own iPhone app (don't know if they previously had other smartphone apps or if they will be doing one).

Upon reading the description of what it can do, it sounds very cool. Monitor your status for upgrades, set parking reminders, and things like that.

But there's one rather strange addition to the product description, something that just jumped out at me and said "LOOK AT ME! I'M WEIRD!!!!!" (It then proceeded to pummel me upside the head until I decided that maybe I should take notice of this)

Here's the description, from the app's web site:

• Enter your login & password only once: saving your info allows the app to push your upcoming flight details to your home screen, automatically
• Set a parking reminder
• Monitor your place on the standby list
• Track your Elite Status progress
• View personal flight details: get your gate, seat and flight status info at a glance
• Access your mobile boarding pass: the app saves it for you, so it’s always easy to find
• Use GPS to locate the nearest American Airlines serviced airport
• View terminal maps
• Play Sudoku

*SOUND OF NEEDLE SLIDING ACROSS RECORD*

What the hell? "Play Sudoku?"

I don't know about you, but in my list of airline apps to keep track of all of my travel stuff, "Play Sudoku" is not really that high on it.

(not a real AA Sudoku image...but would be cool if it was!)

There's a bunch of other stuff you can do on the app to help manage your AA Advantage account, even down to booking flights.

At the end, they say:

"We are developing our plans for future functionality to be included in our American Airlines app. Please send us your feedback. We are listening."

That's all well and good, and I'm happy that they're listening. But the first time they get a suggestion for something that every traveler needs, I can just imagine somebody in the design team slapping their forehead and saying "we could have put that in there instead of Sudoku!"

I realize that people waiting at airports need stuff to do, besides, eating, drinking, reading newspapers, reading books, talking on their phone, watching a movie on their laptop, ummmm...what was I saying again?

Oh yeah! Yes, passengers need stuff to do while waiting at airports. But surely if they're interested in Sudoku, and they've got an iPhone, they've already downloaded at least one Sudoku app? Something that's dedicated to Sudoku and not an afterthought in some app that has nothing to do with Sudoku?

Am I the only person who finds that inclusion strange?

(Note: I have downloaded the app because I do fly American most often when I fly, but I obviously haven't tried the app yet. I'm just commenting on the strangeness in the product description. So I'm not advocating this app at all.

At least not yet)

Do you hate being put on hold?

Is it because of the really lame music that you often have to listen to when you are? Or just the fact that you're either tied to your phone during the interminable wait or you have to put it on speaker-phone just so you can move around your house?

There's an app for that!

Was just catching up on my blog-reading this morning and this post jumped out at me.

There is a new web-service and iPhone app called Lucy, which will end the tedium of being on hold forever! No, it won't connect you any faster to a real, live human being. But it will allow you to get on with the 1000 other things you have to do, which you can't do when you're on hold.

Basically, Lucy will "take a number" and wait in line for you. Available on the web and as an iPhone app, you basically put the number you are dialing into the Lucy service (or choose from a large pool of numbers if you're on an iPhone). Give Lucy the number you want to be called back at. Lucy then connects you to that number. Go through the process until you get put on hold, and then hit "**"

Your call will be ended, but Lucy will then call you back when an operator is ready to talk to you. If you get put on hold again, just do the same thing. This way, you are free to move around the house and not be tied to your phone.

"While the app can be used from your web browser (you’ll get a phone call connecting you to the number you want to reach), we love using the iPhone app because it has a built-in directory of phone numbers. From banks to insurance companies to consumer electronics vendors, you can select from the list of numbers rather than trying to scour the Internet or your product manuals."

I admit that I have not used this app, but the reason I'm writing about it is because it's such a cool concept! I haven't actually had to make one of these phone calls in a little while, so have had no use for it. That may change, however.

The iPhone ratings aren't good for this app, for some reason. Sadly, none of the 1-star ratings actually left a review to say why they didn't like it. If I do end up giving it a try, I will update this post.

A couple of things to keep in mind:

1) As far as I can tell, it only works with toll-free numbers, unless the number's in the iPhone Lucy directory (which may also be all toll-free ones). I think this covers most of the irritating "long-time on hold" numbers, though.

2) You should probably have your phone handy when you're using this service. According to the Lucy web site, Call Centre employees are told when the customer is using "Lucy" and then asked to press "1" to connect. Doing this is what prompts the call to you. The web site makes it sound so quick and easy, but if you're all the way across the room when your phone rings, that might be a problem! Call Centre employees' time is valuable too, you know.

According to Mashable, this is only available in the US and Canada right now, but they do hope to take it truly international soon.

This is such a cool idea that I hope it works out well in practice. Mashable really likes it. Six iTunes raters hate it.

I guess it's up to us to make the call.

And not get put on hold.

Edit: Funnily enough, when I went onto the Apps Store on the iPhone, there were a bunch of reviews/ratings for it! Not sure why that wasn't reflected in iTunes. It's got an overall 3.5 rating and lots of good reviews, along with some bad ones as well.

Edit #2: Ok, got it. The Canadian Apps Store only has 9 ratings. The US one has much more.