Moms and Smartphones - in Bed?

(Thanks to Digital Trends)

In these modern times, people and their phones are seldom parted. Sometimes, prying the smartphone out of somebody's hand is like trying to get a rattle away from a baby.

You'd think that there were some areas where the phone might be put away, though. Wouldn't you? I don't know, like maybe taking a shower. I'm waiting for the first waterproof smartphone so you can access Facebook or Twitter while you clean yourself (Congressmen will not be allowed these phones).

Another area that you would think would be off-limits for phone use would be sex.

But to 12% of "Millenial Moms" (i.e. moms aged 18-35), you would be totally wrong. In fact, you would be so wrong that they would look at you and wonder what you've been smoking.

Yes, according to a Meredith's Parenting Network study (h/t: Yahoo News), 12% of these Millenial Moms admit to using their smartphones while having sex.

I will pause here while you picture that.

I know I want to see that Facebook status update!

This just seems so many kinds of wrong to me, though the Yahoo story does make a good point. The study didn't delve too deeply into what they use the phones for. Smartphones nowadays do have lots of interesting apps and stuff, especially things like cameras and the like. Maybe she's checking to see how many calories she's burning. You know there's an app for that!

Can this account for the 12%?

Or maybe the guy's just boring?

If so, he should take heart. According to Digital Trends, where I found the above picture, 33% of Americans prefer their smartphones to sex. So at least these women don't fall into that category! They just need a little distraction. So don't be alarmed if you hear the WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of an Angry Bird. She's just having her own fun while you're at it.

It's not you. It's them. Those birds.

I really don't know what to make of this story. It just kind of boggles the mind, along with those surveys years ago that talked about eating during sex.

Really?

Any of you get any bright ideas, I'm unfollowing you on Twitter. I will have no choice.

The rest of the stats in the survey are nowhere near as interesting (or fun). A full 21% of these moms admit to using their phone in the bathroom. More than 80% of them are on Facebook, yet 57% consider it a waste of time.

You know, the usual stats.

So let's get back to the sex.

Really? I mean I just can't...

Really?

I tell you, those cameras had better be getting a workout.

Is eating a popsicle at work sexual harassment?

Women eating a banana (or a popsicle) very slowly and seductively has been a staple of "guy" comedy movies for years. Usually, the scene is set to some suggestive music and the guy's eyes are almost popping out of their sockets.

But does that mean that women can't eat these kinds of food at work?

Depends on whether you're part of the Association of Finnish Lawyers, I guess.

They've recently put out a video that basically says that yes, it can be sexual harassment of the men in the office if a woman is eating a popsicle at work.

The video is a bit...exaggerated to make their point, though.



According to the Daily Mail (whenever I'm citing the Daily Mail, you know the story's going to be strange), the Association is "calling for new sexual harassment laws to include women who eat ‘too provocatively’ in public."


Looking at the video, I have to ask: who eats a popsicle that way? Ladies, do you moan at the taste of grape flavour, or does it take strawberry to really get your motor running? If you're at work and enjoying your food that much, then I think there's something else wrong with you. Unless, of course, you're staring into your co-worker's eyes as you do it, in which case you might just be cast in "The Office: Porn Version."

Then again...(thanks to IGN)

The same goes for eating a banana, I would think. Most of the women I know, if they aren't cutting it into slices, just pop it in, chomp, and release.

(Pause for a quick Bobbit-like image and subsequent cringing)

But if you do eat a banana a bit more slowly, why should you be penalized for eating it the way that works for you?

Unless you go up to a male co-worker's desk and do it right in his face or something.

(Note to my female readers: I'd love to know how you eat food like this, and whether you even think about how it looks or if you just do it the way you want to do it and images be damned)

I guess the Finnish Lawyers Association is just trying to drive home the point that men can be sexually harassed too. Yes, I agree that sexual harassment of all varieties is wrong and must be stamped out.

However, I also agree that many claims of it are so far out there that true sexual harassment is getting watered down and obscured by spurious cases that don't stand up to any close inspection.

Does using a woman suggestively eating a popsicle really further your cause much? It's so exaggerated and outlandish that it reduces any serious point you might be making.

Besides, maybe she just really likes fruit-flavoured frozen treats?

Sometimes a popsicle is just a popsicle (I think Freud was just hungry when he said that, though).

Call of Duty - responsible for a baby non-boom?

I've seen a lot of Call of Duty articles recently due to the recent launch of Black Ops (I haven't read that many, but I've seen them).

There is one that did make me just stop and stare for a minute.

Did you know that Call of Duty is keeping people from having sex?

According to The Sun in the UK, that's definitely happening.

It seems that some people are so into the Call of Duty franchise that hanky panky takes second place in their mind (or even lower, if that 13-year-old idiot keeps killing you in Team Deathmatch) to playing the game. (and did I just massively date myself with that reference?)

("Look. Go away and get laid or something")

The Sun highlights two stories.

First, there is Jay & Janine Foulgar. It seems Jay is so into the game that he does stuff like disappear from weddings, only to be found playing the game in the hotel room with another wedding guest (the Sun doesn't say whether the other guest survived when he told his wife where he was). And, of course, there's the sex.

"It has affected our sex life. There have been nights when I've been waiting for Jay to come to bed then woken up at 3am to find he's still playing against a stranger on a different continent.

"Now we have Lauren, Jay has had to calm down a bit. I was over the moon when he volunteered to get up to do night feeds - until I realised why. During the night he will feed Lauren then rock her to sleep in his chair while playing the game in silence."

Sounds dedicated, don't he?

Then there's Jodie Gurney & Chris Jackson, where *she's* the one who's addicted to the game.

"He says: "Her gaming has taken up romantic time before. The moment will come for us to have some 'alone time' and I'll think she's almost finished the game. I'll give her a kiss but then she says, 'Just one more game, one more game'."

Jodie admits that she will get up in the small hours to play and puts testing her abilities ahead of going out with friends too."

Is this what it comes down to? Will there literally be *no* babies born in July 2011, due to the Black Ops release on Tuesday? Should the government do something about this? (Sorry, couldn't resist).

Should somebody sue Activision? (Don't all nod your head at once). I'm just waiting for the inevitable conspiracy theories that Activision planted this story out there in order to garner even more publicity (you know, because nobody's heard of this game). You know that some people are stupid enough to believe that.

While this is a light-hearted article about the lack of sex lives of some gamers, it does highlight a serious issue. That of game addiction. Yes, it's funny to laugh about foregoing sex to play one more game of Domination (the non-kinky version). But is putting games ahead of *any* social interactions really a good thing?

We all experience it a little bit. I've been playing Splosion Man for a while now, and the "just one more level" urge has kept me up later than I've wanted to be quite a few times. But is that any different than the "just one more chapter" feeling you get from a book? Both are signs that the game or book are very enjoyable.

In the meantime, we can laugh at the image of the look on Janine Foulgar's face when she walked into that hotel room.

"Janine, 32, says: "Call Of Duty has been like the other woman in our relationship for years."

Maybe it's time to find another guy? Maybe someone who says "Wii?" (or is that "Oui?")

(h/t: a tweet from Dan Americh at One of Swords)