The NHL is becoming a joke

It's Saturday, three days after the Canucks lost Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, and the disappointment still lingers a bit.

But that's not why the NHL is a joke. Or at least that's not when it became obvious to us that it is becoming one. It just reinforced the issue.

The NHL, under Gary Bettman's tenure, has turned into an organization that is destroying our love of the game of hockey.

(Thanks to...well, you can find this picture EVERYWHERE)

The Stanley Cup Finals just showed a spotlight on everything that we're growing to hate about it.

It's becoming a league where thuggery is not only being allowed, but encouraged.

Now, I'm not one of those "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, get fighting out of the game!" type people. I love a good fight between two willing combatants, when one guy comes to the defense of a teammate. I love me a good body check, and even more so a good hip check.



That, along with the goal-scoring, is what hockey is to me.

It's not cheap shots after the whistle, or even during play.



It's not slashing somebody to the point where two of their fingers are broken (like the slash Alex Edler received in Game 6 of the Finals, making him largely ineffective in Game 7). The organized, post-whistle activities were just sickening to see.

But again, this isn't just about the Finals, and it's not a whine-fest about the Canucks losing. This sort of thing has been going on for a while now.

There's the inconsistent standards of officiating, where what a penalty is doesn't just change from game to game, but from period to period. It's gotten to the point where the players don't even know what a penalty is anymore. Is it any wonder that there's an epidemic of diving going on? When somebody gets cross-checked in the back ten times, with no penalty called, I wouldn't blame somebody for thinking they have to dive to make sure the ref sees the play.

It's not just the penalties, but the supplementary discipline as well. There were two horrible hits in the Stanley Cup Finals. First, Aaron Rome knocked Nathan Horton out of the series with a huge open-ice hit that was late. It was a hockey-play gone wrong (it was definitely late and should have been a penalty for that), but it earned him an unprecedented 4-game suspension. Playoff games are widely considered to be worth double a regular season game, so it would have been 8 games.

The reasoning for this was given, among other things, as the lateness of the hit and the severity of the injury. Yet in Game 6, Mason Raymond gets a compressed vertebrae after being crunched into the boards by an extremely late hit. No penalty on the play, and no suspension.

What the hell?

Personally, I don't think either should have been suspended, because they were hockey plays gone wrong. But if you use that reasoning to suspend Rome, you have to be consistent and suspend the Bruin player too.

Suspensions during the regular season have been just as questionable, mostly on the "way too low" side. Somebody gets run into a stanchion and almost breaks his neck, and there's no suspension for it. Vicious slashes and cross-checks to the head get a game or two at most.

The on-ice product has deteriorated markedly since the NHL lock-out supposedly "fixed" things by calling the rulebook as it is. There would be no more hooking and holding to slow the game down. It would be called no matter when it happened.

Over the years, that standard has slowly disappeared. It's not completely gone, and fast teams can still play well in the regular season. But it's now inconsistent. What's called in the 1st period probably won't be called in the 3rd.

These issues have made it a lot less fun to watch hockey.

I'm a Canucks fan through and through. I bleed blue and green. I will never stop supporting the Canucks.

We have season tickets, but we have seriously considered dropping them because of what a gong show the NHL has become. Every year, we have to make that decision to renew, and every year, we come close to saying "no more."

But we keep coming back. Because these are the Canucks. Would dropping them be cutting off our noses to spite our faces? While the Canucks do have to give a cut of the money to the NHL, we would be hurting the Canucks by abandoning them more than we would be hurting the NHL.

The Canucks players, to a man, talk about the wonderful fanbase in this city, and how well they're treated (despite the intense scrutiny that they receive, and the sometimes unwarranted criticism by fans who get on players way too easily). They talk about taking less money to play here because they love the organization and they love us, the fans who support them. How can you turn your back on that?

Our compromise is to never buy any merchandising, as the NHL gets reams of money off of that. We will not be getting NHL Centre Ice this year (NHL Centre Ice is a package for your digital cable TV package where you can watch almost any hockey game that's on, rather than depending on what your local stations are showing). We will not be spending a cent on any kind of merchandise with the NHL logo on it. It's sad that the Canucks can't sell anything without that logo, as we'd love to give our money to the Canucks. But we just can't do it.

The NHL (and the Canucks, admittedly) made a mint during this Stanley Cup run, with Canucks merchandise flying off of the shelves. I wonder how many people who were buying stuff are bandwagon fans, not even caring about any of these issues.

(Thanks to Hockey-Jerseys.ca)

And I wonder if the true fans who continue to buy the products have thought about how much of that money is going to an organization that is running hockey into the ground.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't buy anything. That's a personal decision, because the Canucks (or the other teams, if it's their stuff) are getting a big cut of that as well.

But it's not something that we can support. The Canucks will get our ticket money. Their TV broadcasts will get our viewership (not that we're a Nielsen family anyway). They will get the one Diet Coke that we buy at the game every time we go.

But the NHL will not be getting any of our money directly.

And if we ever discover that Canucks owner Francesco Aquilini voted to keep Gary Bettman in place as Commissioner of the NHL, we might abandon the team as well.

Tom Larscheid leaving the Canucks booth after 30 years

I say this with a bit of a tear in the eye, as a Vancouver Canucks fan for the last 12 years. After the first game of this upcoming season (the team's 40th anniversary), Tom Larscheid will be hanging up the radio microphone as colour analyst for the team.

In these modern times when most hockey games are available on TV, I don't listen to them on the radio much any more. However, when I do, I will greatly miss hearing Larscheid's passionate voice analyzing the play of our favourite team.

Yes, he is a "homer" (for those not into the lingo, that means that he's very obviously rooting for his team), but he was much more than that.

Yes, he rooted for the Canucks. He got overly excited about an excellent Luongo save or a great Daniel Sedin goal. But he was a hockey fan too. He obviously didn't get excited about somebody on the other team scoring a goal against us, but he did admire the beauty of it, or the tenacity of the goal-scorer if it was a scrum. And he wasn't afraid to tell it like it was if one of the Canucks fucked up to cause the goal.

"Lets face facts Jan Bulis is just a dumb hockey player." You can say what you will about whether he should actually be insulting a player, but I use this mainly to illustrate that he wasn't beholden to the team, and was willing to speak his mind about them.

"That was just AWFUL!" he shouted one time after a truly poor defensive play resulted in a goal. Unlike many homers, he wasn't afraid to rip into the team if they were playing poorly. "That's just unacceptable at the NHL level." While he did comment if the referees were horrible, he would comment if it was for the Canucks as well as if it was against them. And unlike some homers where every call against their team is a horrible call while every call against the other team is perfectly acceptable, he wasn't afraid to just say "that was a stupid penalty to take...you can't do that at this point in the game."

The best thing you can say about him was that he was entertaining. When you can't see what's going on and are relying on the announcers to tell you what's happening, being entertaining is very important. Being knowledgeable is too, and he was that. But if you're not entertaining on the radio, then people are going to tune you out no matter how much you know what you're talking about.

Larscheid was hilarious when he got excited. After a particularly awesome save by Luongo, he shouted "That was highway robbery. Call the coppers!"

Of course, as we are all wont to do when we're doing live radio/audio/whatever, he put his foot in his mouth a few times. One of his most famous ones involved Pavel Bure back in the 90s, when Bure went off the ice for an injury reason. "I just came from the Canucks dressing room and Pavel's groin has never felt better." Or when the team was sucking and Bure was pretty much the only player that was doing anything. "Bure is such a great talent, if only he could play with himself out there, it will really give the fans a show"

We will miss you, Tommy. Enjoy your retirement, and here's to many long, happy years in which you can do so.

Has the media learned to research yet? - Kyle Wellwood satire

Many media engines are going downhill, and for a variety of reasons. Being a conservative, you'd think I'm going to rail about their liberal bias, right?

Nope, not this time. Instead, it's the intellectual laziness that so many media outlets demonstrate that has really pissed me off (though in a hilarious fashion in this particular case).

According to Deadspin, MSNBC, as well as Chicago's NBC affiliate, believed something they read on the web without even a cursory look at it to see if it were, perhaps, not true. Not only was it not true, but it was clearly marked as SATIRE on the site they took the story from!

I'll start at the beginning.

Kyle Wellwood (we call him "Welly")and Shane O'Brien are members of the Vancouver Canucks hockey team. They both also have had weight issues in the past (and still do, to an extent). Wellwood has been subjected to so many fat jokes in the media and on the web that it must explain his permanently sad expression, even after he scores a goal.

Hockey Independent did a satirical article on Wellwood and O'Brien being fined by the team for organizing a "pizza crawl" while the team was in Chicago for games 1 & 2 of their series against the Blackhawks. Supposedly, they "mistakenly" sent the organizing email to the entire NHLPA (NHL Players' Association) instead of to their select group of invitees. The story's hilarious, and go to the Deadspin article I linked to above for the screenshot of the invite (I don't want to steal their thunder, but it is seriously funny).

The extra hilarious part of this (in a "sad question of society" kind of way) is that MSNBC and NBC-Chicago actually thought this was a REAL story! Even though Hockey Independent had marked it as "satire" on their site. They reported it with much seriousness (though I'll bet the Chicago affiliate was getting a kick out of reporting it - "Ah, those Canadian rubes! Look at what they're doing...this is why Patrick Kane's mullet is a true non-story.").

Both sites have since taken it down, though it lives on in posterity on the Deadspin site.

How hard is it to look in the "filed under" part of the post and see the word "satire?"

Given the disdain that most media outlets have for "bloggers," should they really be caught passing on a "blogger" story without actually researching it themselves to see if it's true? I'm sorry, but this doesn't cut it as "research":

"Perhaps the best line from the NBC piece is this one: 'The Canucks' press office could not immediately confirm the report, but the Independent published a screen cap of the invite.'"

Unfortunately, more and more of this crap is happening, and in serious "news" business, not just sports. Political stories that are broken by bloggers where the media doesn't pick up on it until days later, or stories that they do follow where bloggers end up finding what REALLY happened.

It's becoming an epidemic, and one that needs to be stopped. Media can truly be the Fourth Estate, but too much lately, it's become just as bad as the people they're following.

And poor Welly. He just can't catch a break. This was on the Kurtenblog the other day:

He just doesn't look like he knows what to do, eh?

NHL Playoffs - Round 2 Edition

As of Sunday night, my Round 1 predictions were actually going very well. I had all but one correct, with two series remaining. Then two disastrous Game Sevens happened and I came crashing back down to Earth like the supposed Balloon Boy (if, you know, he had actually been up in that balloon).

Still, I went 5-3, and got two of the rounds exactly correct! I picked Vancouver in six games and San Jose in six games. Not too bad for somebody who doesn't know what he's talking about (no, I'm not talking about Barry Melrose).

So on to Round 2! Let's see if I can stink the joint out any more than I did last time. When I say that I suck, I really shouldn't lie like that. That's what my drill sergeant always said.

"Damn it, man! If you're going to say you suck, you damned well better back it up and suck, goddammit!"

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, round 2!

Here we go.

As before, all rounds are best of 7 games. All seedings are the original seedings for round one (the top 3 Eastern seeds all went down, so their highest is 4th)

Western Conference

#1 San Jose vs #5 Detroit

Ho hum. Another NHL postseason, another virtual no-show by Joe Thornton and his crew. If it wasn't for the 3rd line pluggers on the team showing up, like Joe Pavelski (8 points in 6 games), the Sharks would have lost to the Avalanche. Craig Anderson stood on his head for the Avalanche, but when you're facing these guys, that's not too hard. The top Sharks line had a combined 10 points in 17 combined games. I made the milk carton joke in my Round 1 post, but I think we have to escalate to putting their faces on the Goodyear blimp as it flies over the city. "Have you seen these men? If so, please call 1-800-IVANISH."

Meanwhile, the red hot Red Wings blew Phoenix off home ice in Game 7 of their series, but it did take them 7 games to take the Coyotes out. They have very suspect goaltending. They also have a high-powered offense with some great skill players. It seems they can score at the drop of a hat. Hopefully they don't waste that ability on a snazzy hat, like this:

I think the Red Wings shut down the red-hot Pavelski line and the Thornton line looks as talented as it usually does in the playoffs.

Red Wings in 6

#2 Chicago vs #3 Vancouver

This is it! Revenge will be sweet for the Canucks in this rematch of last year's 2nd round playoff matchup. Last year, Blackhawk forward Dustin BigButtlin (or something like that) crashed Roberto Luongo's crease with impunity, getting him off his game and agitated. There were also lots of other little stories in the series as well. These two teams don't like each other, and if this weren't happening on the hockey rink, it would result in a really nasty game of Red Rover, Red Rover on the school playground.

The Canucks are faster than last year, and they have much more offensive confidence. I can't see them sitting back like they did before. Also, Luongo appears to be finding his game at just the right time. Who can forget this save from their 1st round series with the Kings?



I don't think he'll allow the distraction to bother him this year.

The penalty kill was the main story in the Canucks-Kings series, with the Canucks PK floundering early.  It almost seemed like if the Canucks took a penalty, they should just give the Kings a goal and go back to 5-on-5 play.  But it picked up later in the series.  That's the PK they need to show the Hawks.

Meanwhile, the Blackhawks have weaker goaltending this year (while Niemi did shut out the Predators twice, he also allowed four goals in three other games, and when you say "Predators," you don't really think "offense"). They also have Marian Hossa, which means they suffer from the "Marian Hossa Curse." However, since that only affects the Stanley Cup Final, it doesn't mean much in this series.

Don't think this will get you to the Finals, Hawks fans. This year, the curse doesn't apply, as it will end early.

Canucks in 7

Eastern Conference

#4 Pittsburgh vs #8 Montreal

Wow, what a comeback for Montreal! Down 3-1 in the series against the high-powered Washington Capitals team led by Alexander (Why Can't I Score Making the Same Move All the Time?) Ovechkin, they knuckled down and stymied them for 3 games, coming back to win it. That took a lot of gumption! Halak, their goalie, stood on his head in a remarkable performance. His ability to stop rubber was reminiscent of Ken Dryden, Patrick Roy, or any girl I tried to date in high school. I was in awe, especially in Game 6, where he faced over 50 shots and allowed one goal.

Unfortunately, Pittsburgh is not as one-dimensional as Washington was, as they don't have Alexander Semin on their team (how can you be a goal-scorer and not score on almost 50 shots over a series????) I really don't like Sidney Crosby. He's super-talented, but he's cocky, with this smug expression that reminds me of most of the women I tried to date in college (are you recognizing a theme here?).

Halak is good, but he has to be god-like to beat the Penguins this year. Can he do it? Is he the Moses the Canadiens need to lead them to the promised land? And most importantly, will there be any stone tablets in the locker room when they get to Pittsburgh?

"The Fourth Commandment is: Thou Shalt Not Apply Thy Elbow to Thy Opponent's Head, Unless Thy Opponent is Matt Cooke. Then Thou May Use Both Elbows if Available."

I just don't think it will happen (though I wouldn't mind seeing that happen to Cooke).

Penguins in 6

#6 Boston vs #7 Philadelphia

Two more big surprises coming out of the East. Who would have thought at the beginning of the season that either the Bruins or the Flyers would be in the Eastern Finals? But it's true! One of these teams will make it.

Philly shut down a surprisingly mediocre Devils team in 5 games (I thought it would take 7 for them to do it), but they've lost their two leading scorers (or two of them, anyway....research? Is that a Greek word?). Both Simon Gagne and Jeff Carter are out for a long while. That didn't seem to bother them against the Devils, but can the Bruins defense hold the rest of the team off? Meanwhile, asshole-defenseman Chris Pronger has yet to elbow somebody in the head in this year's playoffs (or at least he hasn't been caught for it). Is this the series where he snaps and does it? Or does he elbow himself and knock himself out for 4-6 weeks? One can only hope.

Meanwhile, I still haven't watched Boston much (I followed my vow to watch the highlights diligently, though!), so I really don't know how well they're doing. Did Buffalo just suck or were the Bruins that good? I did see them knock out the Sabers' top scorer, Vanek, with a vicious slash that didn't get called. Do they do the same thing to Daniel Carcillo's face? And will it improve his looks?

I just have a hunch that this is going to be a hard-fought series, where neither team gives an inch, there are lots of battles, some heated play after the whistle, that sort of thing. Also, I predict that the anthem singer will get booed by the Philly crowd in Game 3, and then get speared by Pronger as he skates by.

What a nasty thing to do to a talented 12-year-old girl.

Flyers in 7

There wasn't much response to my first round picks, but I decided I would do Round 2 anyway. Come on, my hockey-loving friends. Get in here and trash talk! Tell me I'm full of shit!

You know you want to.