As most of you already know, actor Leslie Nielsen died yesterday at the age of 84. I honestly didn't even know that he'd been ill, but I don't really keep up with a lot of the celebrity gossip, and Nielsen wasn't usually found in those pages anyway.
This news saddened me, because I grew up on Leslie Nielsen's comic misadventures. I knew he had been a serious actor before that, but I had never seen him in any of those roles. I still haven't seen Forbidden Planet, something I should do soon.
To me, Nielsen was always the king of deadpan humour, the man who played everything straight even as we were all laughing in the aisles. Airplane came out in 1980, when I was 10 years old. I don't think I saw it until it was on HBO, but even so it was only a couple of years after that, I believe. It was my first exposure to Nielsen, and surely this movie is the one that cemented his reputation for the type of character that he played throughout the rest of his career.
(Yes, I am leaving out the joke that *everybody's* quoting today, just because I don't want to be one of the crowd).
In addition to Airplane (he wisely declined to be in Airplane 2, though even that movie had its moments), Nielsen is best known as Police Detective Frank Drebin in the short-lived (and much-loved, from us fans) TV show "Police Squad" and the subsequent Naked Gun movies. As Drebin, he moved from complete deadpan to clueless bumbling that still had us laughing.
Drebin: "Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that's *my* policy!"
Mayor: "That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of 'Julius Caesar,' you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!"
He would continue to play the same type of character for the most part, in films like Repossessed, the Scary Movie franchise, Spy Hard, Dracula: Dead & Loving It, and many more.
Most of these didn't do very well, or did but he wasn't prominent in them. I think he will forever be known as either Drebin or "that doctor from Airplane."
And really, is that a bad legacy? I don't think so.
He provided so many of us with so much laughter. I hope he realized that throughout his last years, that no matter which crappy movies he might make, he will always be remembered fondly.
Here's his introduction to the Cincinnati Bengals' return to Monday Night Football after a very long absence:
And there's also this classic one from "Police Squad," which I honestly didn't even remember but now find supremely hilarious.
Finally, I just discovered this on Youtube, and it's more classic Nielsen character cluelessness.
Many people today will be memorializing Nielsen. He led a long and varied life, even flying with the Royal Canadian Air Force in World War II before entering acting.
And I know this memorial may be lost in all of those.
But I don't care. Nielsen was one of the greats. He will be greatly missed, and I get the feeling that there will be a number of Airplane and Naked Gun movie marathons coming up in the very near future.
Thank you for the decades of laughter, Mr. Nielsen.
It is the Dawn of the Age of Man. Fire is just being discovered (by some guy whose wife started yelling at him, lighting a fire under his ass, so he doesn't get to enjoy the invention) and the wheel is too! But wait, what's that?
Oh no!!! All the paparazzi has got their stone tablets ready and are going to be hounding these poor souls to death! (Not to mention that the fire-inventor guy is obviously cheating on his wife!)
Why do I bring up these ancient things on a 2010 blog? Well, when you are starting something brand new, you really should examine the past, eh? And this is totally new!
Ok, it is the same old same old, except that we're in a new decade now! That's right! Welcome to the One-Hit Wonders of the 2000s! That regular post (if you can call one so far "regular") that will make your skin silky smooth and add colour to your cheeks too!
Though I am forced to admit (by FDA regulations) that for some people, it has had the opposite effect.
There is no truth to the rumour that it causes insanity, except in the head of the poster himself, who went off the deep end a long time ago.
So it's still safe to read. If you don't mind some lily-white skin.
Yes, you are reading the first in a brand new series of one-hit wonders posts! It's pretty much going to be the same as the previous ones, except that I'm adding the date the song peaked on the charts (assuming for the moment that Wikipedia's actually accurate).
Yes, the jokes will still be lame, so rest assured you don't have to prepare yourself for *that* to change!
As usual, you can find the list I'm taking these from here (ok, maybe it's not usual yet, since this is actually a different page than the previous one, but the concept is the same...I think. Isn't it? I don't know).
And now, since I've confused myself silly
here we go!!!! 1) Guy: "Dancin" (#19) (January 1, 2000)
Oooooo, looks science-fictiony (Yes, I do still make up words, despite being a decade older now)! And look at him wiggle those pecs! It's almost enough to turn me on...well, not quite, but close.
And we start out the 2000s with a soul hit! With a bunch of hot, muscular guys in tow as well. Are any of us surprised?
Does look like a bit of a boring nightclub, though. Where's the chick selling the jello shots? These guys definitely put the lie to the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign on the door of this club.
But is anybody complaining?
This song is actually a pretty good start to the decade, though I could do without the choreographed dance number. Until seeing this, actually, I didn't realize how few of the one-hit wonders of the 90s actually had these types of dance. You would think that would have been all the rage, what with Michael Jackson and all.
The video's not bad either, what with a couple of hot chicks, some really smoking-hot guys for the ladies, and enough leather to keep a Montana ranch in business for a year (Bessy's not very happy about that, though)
I think she'll get over it.
2) M2M: "Don't Say You Love Me" (#21) (January 8, 2000)
I'll bet you didn't know that Disney was producing child pop stars before Hannah Montana, did you? Ok,they weren't produced by Disney, but evidently this song got a *lot* of play on Disney radio after it hit big with the first Pokemon movie (yet another frenzy that I just don't understand)
Aren't they a little young to be dressing in hot leather pants, though? Ok, ok, I know. Teenagers and all that.
These two girls were fairly big in Europe for a couple of years, but this was their only US hit, and probably because of the Pokemon movie. Otherwise, they would never have popped their heads up on these shores.
What about the song? It's the typical bubble gum pop that is all over the genre. Rather boring, but flavoured like, well, bubble gum for the teenage masses.
I wonder how many parents in that crowd were looking at their watches by the end of that song?
And looking at the video and looking at this song, I really can't tell you why. But it's just got an infectious dance beat that burrows into my soul, grabs my heart and brain, and demands "LIKE ME!!!!"
You know what? I think I'm convinced. Against my better judgement.
Besides, the blue guy's so cute. Much cuter than these blue guys.
Ok, that one's pretty hot, but I'm thinking more of these.
Excuse me while I go change my pants.
4) Filter: "Take a Picture" (#12) (February 5, 2000)
(Damn you, Rhino! Embedding Disabled????)
This is kind of a catchy song (no, not "catching," though I am feeling a bit faint right now). It definitely has that early 2000s feel to it, though. A little bit of hard guitar and scratchy voice and all of that.
And supposedly there's actually a reason for this song! From Wikipedia (that impeccable source):
"Filter's frontman, and founding member Richard Patrick has said that the song is about him getting drunk on an airplane, taking off all of his clothes, and fighting with the flight attendants who tried to stop him. This would account for the introductory, and later-repeated, lyrics: "Awake on my airplane, awake on my airplane...my skin is bare, my skin is theirs.""
Ok, that thought just makes me want to...well, you just don't want to know.
But I'm cancelling my next plane ticket if he's on the flight...
Oh no, that old "baby from a one night stand" horror story! J-Shin really wants to make sure that you wrap it up!
I do have to say, if she was wearing those clothes at this supposed "night club" they met at, I'm surprised *anybody* would hook up with her. I'd have trouble looking at her without laughing.
And should she really be singing in the "I don't know if it's mine" part? If it's not yours, lady, whose is it?
The song is kind of "eh," really, though it does highlight the dangers of going out and cheating for a one night stand.
Why do I think these three are going to be appearing on the Maury Povich show soon?
Wow. Um....I really want to keep watching this video, but I really want to turn the sound down. God, what a voice! And that's not a compliment.
Ok, now I don't want to watch anymore...is that supposed to be dancing? Really?
Hoku (daughter of Don Ho) is another of those Nickolodeon/Disney/ultra-annoying teeny-bopper type singers that just grates on adult nerves.
Yes, I know we're not the target audience. But you're not the blogger who has to listen to this.
You can turn it off at any time. Me? I have to keep listening to the end.
Just for the record, because I know you turned it off a while ago, it doesn't get any better. I feel like my IQ's dropped 30 points, my musical taste has been battered until it's bloody, and it makes me really want to go on a rampage.
What? Oh, a rampage of love, I meant! Yes, a rampage of love. I'll just try and make sure I don't meet up with LaTocha Scott...
(this is a reading comprehension and reference test, to catch any of you skimmers)
7) Blink-182: "All the Small Things" (#6) (March 25, 2000)
(this is literally the only video of this song I could find)
Uh oh! We have more country invasion! They're still trying to get into our home.
I shall, however, refrain from saying anything else, due to certain sensibilities.
I actually kind of like the song, but once again there's really no reason why this would make the jump to the pop charts and not any of his other ones. It's got the same twang, the same country accent.
We're just lucky, I guess.
And there you have it! Week one of the series that will be so regular that you will no longer need fiber in your diet (though I guess if you *must*, it probably wouldn't hurt). Why do you need wheat cereal when you've got me?
And I'm much more fun at parties, too.
So be safe this week, and I will be back here next week, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel. (but with much different Bat-Underwear).
Until then, I'm off! I've got some grocery shopping I gotta do today.
I swear they moved that door since I was there last.
Regular readers of this blog know that I've been working on getting a podcast set up for our office. In fact, we did a "beta" episode during the Summer that I thought worked pretty well.
I'm proud to say that our first "official" episode has now been posted. I'm pretty proud of it, but it is long (71 minutes), so be aware of that.
If you're interested in hearing my voice, take a listen! Keep in mind that this is an Education and Educational Technology podcast, so the subject matter may not be as interesting to you. But I'd love for you to take a listen if you want.
I got more comfortable as it went on (I hope it sounds like that, and the interview was conducted after recording the rest of the podcast), and I think as we keep doing these, it will get even better.
No, I wasn't betrayed by Lisa, but I was a bit bewitched by her last book, Bewitched & Betrayed. This is book 4 in the Raine Benares series of fantasy novels, a series that I have quite enjoyed, even though I've only read books 2 and 4. I may have to rectify that, though I have to say that Shearin does such a great job of making each book understandable that I don't feel the *need* to go back in order to understand what's going on.
I like that in a book series.
My review for Bewitched and Betrayed is now up on Curled Up With a Good Book, and I have to say that I quite enjoyed this novel. From the review:
"Raine Benares is an Elven Seeker - a woman who can use her inherent magic to seek out criminals and other targets she’s tasked to look for. A major problem has been hampering her life the last little while, though: after being tricked into touching the Saghred, a stone full of potently evil magic that serves as a prison for evil souls, she has become its keeper. She’s barely able to contain the Saghred’s hunger for souls, much less fight off other wizards who greatly desire her power. With Mychael (the Elven paladin who heads the Guardians of the magic school on the island of Min) on one side and Tam (a former Goblin noble with a touch of dark magic himself) on the other, she faces off against an evil dark mage who will stop at nothing to get the Saghred’s power - either with Raine’s cooperation or over her dead body."
I love the mix of humour and dark "end of the world" fantasy in this series. Anyone who controls the Saghred (other than Raine, of course) is most likely going to succumb to the urge to take over the world, if not destroy it. Yet Shearin makes the book (and entire series) fun as well.
Check out the review, and let me know what you think. It's a must-read for anybody who likes some light fantasy.
Just wanted to wish all of my American family, friends, fans and followers a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I'm able to make it home for Christmas, but there's no way I can do both, so Thanksgiving is always spent here at work instead of at home with family. It's part of the "being thousands of miles away from home" thing.
Sadly, that also means that I only get to follow the football games online rather than actually watching them. Looking at today's games, they don't look very interesting anyway. Dallas? Detroit? Can you say two blow-outs?
Anyway, my thoughts are with all of you as I slave away here (and with all of you who are also slaving, so don't think I'm leaving you out).
I hope you are having a wonderful day, and checking out this post tonight while sitting there all logy, the top button of your pants unbuttoned because you're too stuffed with turkey.
Or maybe you're travelling and not checking this until tomorrow. Or the next day. Or whenever.
It's always the appropriate time.
Because in our hearts, every day is truly Thanksgiving.
I understand the need for airport security. I really do.
And after the current controversy over the new pat-down policy (Don't touch my junk!), many will think this post is a minor complaint compared to all of that.
And they would be right.
But this is one that happened to me, so I'm going to complain about it anyway. This is from my recent Calgary business trip.
First a good note. Canadian policies are definitely not as strict as the American TSA's are. We didn't have to remove our shoes (though it was "suggested" if it looked like they would set off the metal detectors). It looked like people *could* be sent through the full-body scanners or get a pat-down, but it wasn't standard procedure.
So that's good.
But what gets me is the differing enforcement of the screening policies at the two different airports (Vancouver and Calgary). How can travelers get through Security efficiently when they don't know how policies are going to be enforced?
Here's a link to Canada security's "Managing Your Bins" page, where it tells you what to do when you're going through screening. (I hadn't actually looked at this page before traveling, which I should have).
I'm going through Security in Vancouver, and they don't say anything about my liquid (I was bringing hair gel in an approved clear plastic bottle, because I needed my hair to look awesome for the presentations). I had packed it in the bottle and then in a clear plastic bag, as per instructions. Since I hadn't read this page, I hadn't read this:
"Place your transparent, closed and resealable plastic bag containing your liquids, aerosols and gels into a separate bin. If you are also travelling with exempted liquids, please remove them at this time and place them into the bin."
Since I hadn't read it, I hadn't removed it. But the security person didn't even ask. And I made it through Security with no problems.
Then I come to Calgary Security on our way home. Since I had no trouble in Vancouver, I didn't know to remove the liquid. The guy in Calgary asked me about it, though, and forced me to remove it and put it in the bin. I was mad at him, but now that I read the regulations closer, it looks like it was the Vancouver one that messed up.
As my bag was going through the scanner, something on my key ring made them take a second look, and then decide to search my bag. I can only imagine it was the angle that they were laying, or something, because Vancouver had no problem with them.
The guy asked me if it was ok to search (like I can say "no"?) and then proceeded to empty my bag, open up any zipped bags (I had a camera in a case, iPad in a case, and some electronics in a case), feel up my clothes (thankfully not pulling out my dirty laundry) and basically unpacking everything.
He then said "ok, you're free to go" and walked away, leaving me to put everything back and scurry out of there before I held up the line too much (he didn't take it to a separate area to search, like the TSA people did when they searched my bag in Moline).
Some of these security regulations are onerous enough. But how can we, as passengers, know where we stand when the rules are enforced in different ways at different airports?
Yes, I know this pales in comparison to the blatant invasion of privacy involved in the current TSA controversy.
As my Facebook friends know (sorry for spamming you with "Places" updates) as well as readers of this blog, I spent the last two days on a business trip to Calgary, Alberta. A co-worker and I were there to give a presentation about the MET program to a couple of the local colleges: Southern Alberta Institute of Technology (SAIT) and Bow Valley College.
First, I want to thank everybody for the well-wishes after I announced this trip. It means a lot to me to have that much support.
Secondly, the trip actually went pretty well. We had to be at the airport for 5:30 am (flight left at 7:00), so I was up at 4:00 in order to be able to catch the Canada Line (Vancouver's new direct transit to the airport, which is actually pretty cool) at 5:00.
My co-worker was late, but we managed to catch the next train and get out to the airport by 6:00. Check-in was easy, security was actually pretty busy for that early in the morning, but I had no trouble getting through it. Slow because of the people in front of me, but I went through without a hitch.
Thankfully, with just an overnight trip, we didn't have to check any baggage. We just had our carry-ons.
The flight was actually pretty good. Only an hour long, and it was quite pleasant except for the wind that hit us on our descent into Calgary. I felt like I was on the inside of a maraca for a couple of minutes before it abated.
We arrived in Calgary, shaken but not stirred, and headed out to catch a taxi to SAIT. This is when it hit us: it was f-ing cold!!! Minus 22 C and with the windchill, it was worse. It had snowed, though thankfully it wasn't snowing right then and there. We knew it was going to be cold, but it was one thing to know it, another thing to actually feel it. I was glad we were in the back of a nice, heated taxi.
We got dropped off at SAIT and were met by the people who had asked us to come. We were to give our presentation to up to 20 SAIT instructors and administrators who had expressed interest in the MET program. It was now 10:30, and they offered us a little bit of food and a tour of the building.
I have to say that SAIT has a *very* impressive campus. A combination of old and new style buildings, a student centre that had a lot of interesting things in it. I was quite impressed.
After the tour, we went to our room and started setting up. Ultimately, only 6 people showed up, which was kind of disappointing. But the ones who did show up sounded quite interested, so that was good.
I was nervous, of course, but I think I did pretty well overall. I made sure I didn't speak too fast (I tend to rush things when I'm nervous, in an attempt to get them over with as soon as possible), and I was clear, meeting everybody's eyes at one point or another (i.e. not staring off into the distance as I was talking). I didn't even stutter too much!
Afterward, we walked around the campus a little bit, as much as the cold would allow. We visited a couple of buildings, went to the student centre, and took some pictures. It was really quite interesting overall, and the people involved at SAIT could not have been nicer to us, even calling us a cab and watching our things as we were walking around (since we had come directly from the airport, we had everything with us). They were awesome people, and we may come back next year for their "Transfer Options Fair," which is what was going on while we were there.
Finally, we headed downtown and checked into the hotel. After about 45 minutes, we headed out into the frigid cold to have a quick dinner, stopping off at a couple of stores: not to shop, but just to warm up a bit (for you Americans, -22 C is about 5 F). We found this really nice pub called The Unicorn, which is called "The original Calgary pub." The food there was excellent, and they had a really good beer on special that day, Wild Rose Velvet Fog. I was in heaven (ok, the beer wasn't *that* good, but just the overall experience). I would highly recommend it, not just for the food, but the old-time pub atmosphere as well.
After dinner, my co-worker wanted to rest a little while so we headed back to the hotel. We were staying at the Ramada downtown, and I have to say that the cost of the rooms must be because of the location. They weren't anything special compared to any other hotel rooms I've stayed in. The bathroom was tiny and the room was a little cramped (not for one person, necessarily but just in overall feel).
Anyway, after a couple of hours, we headed back out to have a few beers and just enjoy a bit of the nightlife in Calgary. I think the cold was keeping people inside, though, because it wasn't as busy as I've seen Vancouver on a Thursday night. We ended up at the Belfry, a really cozy pub and restaurant. We chatted and watched the football game (damn, it looked like a boring one). We had a few beers and their 8-inch pizzas were on sale for $8, so we thought we'd give one a try. While the reviews on that site rave about the pizza, I'd have to say that it was good for $8, but I wouldn't pay the normal price for them.
Still, it was a great place with a good atmosphere, and I'd go back there again.
We crashed around 10:00 (we were both *really* tired) and I watched a little TV before hitting the sack.
Friday morning dawned cloudy and icy cold once again, and we discovered that our hotel reservation didn't include the hotel's breakfast (I think they're *really* trying to keep people from using services like Expedia), so we went out in search of it. It was *really* cold once again. I felt like my ears were going to fall off. It didn't help that I had woken up with a splitting headache and didn't have any aspirin. I honestly felt like I might be coming down with a cold.
We figured we'd happen upon some place serving breakfast on our walk, but we were having trouble finding anything, so we ended up asking a passerby. He pointed us to the Avenue Diner, a really cozy little old-style dinner (with stone wall and everything!).
The food was really good, though a bit too "modern" for my taste (I had whole wheat pancakes with flax-seed...I was really pining for buttermilk pancakes at the end of it). And they put fruit in everything! Even the water came not just with a lemon, but some other kind of fruit (it was as small as a raspberry, but it was definitely not one of those). Still, it was quite good, and we were definitely full afterward.
Then we headed out to our second presentation, at Bow Valley College. This is a small school, with two buildings on the edge of downtown Calgary (a third is being built), but they've got mini-campuses all over Alberta. They're really big into distance education. We discovered that while there were only going to be 5 people in the room, they were also broadcasting it online via Adobe Connect, which allows users to log in and see the presentation. They could hear us and see our Powerpoint presentation, but we didn't have a camera set up, so they couldn't see us.
It felt a bit weird, knowing that there were people listening to us that we couldn't react to. It was nice to have *somebody* in the room, though, so we did have an audience to bounce off of.
Even better, Adobe Connect allowed them to record the presentation, so those who couldn't be there or who couldn't log in at that time can access it later. I honestly think presentation will get us a few applicants.
How did the presentation go? Considering everything, it actually went pretty well.
What's "everything?"
Well, there was my headache, which just intensified as I was talking, plus the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold (right now, I seem to be fighting it off, as I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday). I was running out of breath as I was talking, and it was *really* hard to keep going. I *think* it still went well, but I didn't feel as good about it as I did the previous day's. My co-worker said he noticed I was having some trouble at the beginning but that I got better as it went along.
I'll have to take his word for it, because I was feeling worse as it went along.
The people at Bow Valley couldn't have been nicer to us either. They were really cool to talk to (we had an hour's set-up time and it took us basically 10 minutes to set up, so we chatted with them the rest of the time) and seemed really eager for what we are offering. So keep your fingers crossed!
We had time for lunch at a local sandwich shop (unfortunately, I can't remember the name, but the ham sandwich was delicious) and then grabbed a taxi for the airport.
We ended up being really early for the flight, but we would have been even *earlier* except for my main gripe of the day.
I know about all of the TSA brouhaha going on down in the States. I've been following it quite closely. The Canadian version of it isn't nearly as bad. In fact, we didn't even have to take off our shoes!
However, I do have one gripe, and this is probably true of the US TSA too: different standards and rules at different airports.
Ah, but this is getting too long already, so I'll do that in a separate post. Look for it tonight or tomorrow. (I know, I am such a tease).
After waiting a while for our flight, the flight itself was actually pretty good, except that the pressurized cabin along with the height was *really* making my head pound. I read a bit, napped a bit, and generally just survived.
It was nice to get back to Vancouver, though. We caught the Canada Line back downtown and I walked the 10-minute walk home.
It was wonderful to set foot back home again. It was also nice to finally take a cold pill and some aspirin. Last night was a night of lounging around, which felt wonderful.
When I returned home it was cold here, 3 degrees C. But after the two days I had just endured, I considered it balmy.
So we had a wonderful trip, and my co-worker seems to think that the bosses are enthusiastic about the effects of trips like this, so I might be doing it again. It was fun and interesting, and I look forward to it. Calgary, I hate your hockey team, but I have to say that I really liked your city. What I saw of it, anyway.
Oh, and to top it all off? After the weather I left behind me in Calgary?
I mentioned briefly on Facebook the other day that I'm heading off to Calgary for two days later this week. A co-worker and I are going to be giving a couple of presentations about the MET program. One of them is at SAIT (Southern Alberta Institute of Technology) and the other one is at Bow Valley College.
I'm actually quite excited because this is my first-ever business trip, where I have to keep track of expenses and all that stuff. Hopefully, our next trip will be firming up our Jamaican contingent of MET students, but somehow I doubt that will happen (or if it does, that I'll be invited to go along).
I'm also a bit nervous, because there will be another first: giving a long presentation like this. Granted, my co-worker will be doing it too (we're tag-teaming it), but still. It's 30 minutes or so. I know I've done a slight bit of public speaking before, but that was for a couple of minutes. And I was unprepared (most of that is my fault). I was going to link to a post about it, but just realized that I only posted that on Facebook.
I can handle being up on stage for 30 minutes, right? Yeah, I know I can. Being prepared will certainly help that, of course.
It's going to be a quick in-and-out jaunt. We fly up Thursday morning, give a presentation around noon, then we have the day to ourselves. After a night of carousing, we'll give another presentation at noon on Friday and head home Friday late-afternoon. Only one night in a hotel, which is probably just as well.
I'll post about it on the weekend, of course.
And I'm going to knock these presentations out of the park. Because I'm good enough...damn, was going to do a Stuart Smalley joke there, but I can't stand to look at Al Franken's face.
Even though I know I'll do well, keep me in your thoughts anyway! And if anybody has any suggestions for things to do in Calgary, or a restaurant we just have to check out, feel free to leave a comment.
Hello, dear reader. I have a favour to ask you. The original post begins after all of the asterisks, if you want to skip this.
Now that the One Hit Wonders of the 90s series is over, I'm not going to be doing my weekly revisiting of all these posts (I had to do that to add the new post to the bottom). Thus, I won't be able to catch any broken picture links or deleted videos any more. Yet I want these posts to be as good as possible.
Please, if you happen upon one of these posts, or if you take a walk through a whole bunch of them, let me know if you find anything that doesn't work. You can leave a comment, or you can send me a message using that handy "Contact Me" page linked above.
Also, feel free to let me know what you think of the post or any of the videos!
Thank you.
**************************
Forty weeks.
A lot can happen in 40 weeks. Hell, a baby can be conceived *and* born in that time!
And in that time, I've conceived and birthed the monstrosity that is known as the one-hit wonders of the 90s list. Yes, my dear reader, you've been the witness to history. Not only have you seen me make somebody laugh (something that has never been done in the span of human existence...or, well, my existence, anyway), but you've also seen me complete a 40-week project without *any* gaps.
That's right, my plot to take over the world has had many starts and stops
but these posts have come out like clockwork.
We have now reached the end of the line. Week 40. The final edition of... THE ONE HIT WONDERS OF THE 90S!!!!!!
We're gonna have a party!
But no silliness allowed!
Hey, that means you! Get out of here!
Stupid people who can't read the signs.
Now, I don't want you to overindulge or anything. Or I will take away your key...boards.
So why don't we put some music on? What would you like to hear? The greatest hits of William Hung? William Shatner does techno? The greatest dance classics of Luciano Povarotti?
Tough! You don't get to choose. This is my party. And I say we're going to listen to...
the final edition of the show! I'll bet you forgot that we're not done yet, didn't you?
As usual, you can find the list here. And, since this is the final edition, I really don't give a shit whether you go look or not.
Here we go!
1) Fastball: "Out of My Head" (#20)
My wife was a big fan of Fastball, so I heard a lot of their stuff early in our marriage. I had forgotten that this song was really their only hit. Actually, they had one other one ("The Way"), but Wikipedia says something like it was only on the Top 100 "Airplay" chart that they hit #4 (whatever the hell that means).
I really do like this song, and the video's pretty cool too. How can you go wrong with family memories?
Ok, maybe if you're the Manson family, but other than that?
Here's "The Way," which is my favourite Fastball song, and the one I would have thought would be their biggest hit (and it was, if you go by "airplay" charts, and maybe we just all should just for our own piece of mind?)
Anybody who was listening to pop music at the time knows this song, as it was *everywhere*. Literally. I think I found it in my clothes hamper one night (I didn't bother to ask what it was doing there. I just picked it up on a piece of paper and threw it outside. You know, because I can't kill any of God's creatures. At least it's not as icky as a spider, anyway).
This is ultimately a silly song about *lots* of women, all who seem perfectly all right with being one of "the group" of Lou's ladies. Or at least he's paying them lots to smile at him and shake their booty for him.
And there is *lots* of booty in this video! I was having KC & the Sunshine Band flashbacks.
No, not from the music, you idiot!
Whoops. I didn't mean to call you that. Please, come back! It...it...it was the booze from the party that made me do it. It will never happen again.
As an aside, I've never wanted to be a trumpet so badly in my life. Whew!
I just love the music in this song. The words are pretty worthless and silly, but you can really dance to the music. In fact, this might be the theme song for our last episode party. I'll just try and make up my own words.
This song was *so* overplayed when it was popular that I quickly became tired of it. It really overstayed its welcome, like when Uncle Lou comes to live with you for a while because Aunt Helen threw his worthless ass out, and you keep running into him on his nightly naked jaunts to the toilet?
Ok, maybe not *that* bad (Uncle Lou is hard to beat), but you know what I mean.
That being said, I haven't heard the song in a while, and now that I've been removed from it for a while, it's actually not that bad. The beat is kind of infectious and the beach imagery in the video is pretty cool. I would suggest turning down the sound if you watch it more than once to get out of the Winter doldrums, though, as otherwise the song might just put you back into that mood.
4) Ideal: "Get Gone" (#13)
We can't leave the 90s without one of these musical groups!
Sorry buddy, but those earrings along with that jacket? It...uh...just doesn't work. Let's leave it at that. It looks like a cat exploded on it.
Maybe I shouldn't make fun. Maybe it did? That would actually be kind of traumatic, wouldn't it? Not to mention pissing the cat off.
Yeah, kind of like that.
It seems to be the formula, though. Get 2-4 great looking guys, come up with some really soulful songs, rinse, and repeat.
Sadly for some, the "repeat" part became the hurdle they couldn't get over.
Is there anything to set this song or this group apart from any of the others? I can't think of anything.
I guess Ideal followed its own advice after this song.
5) Clint Black & Lisa Hartman Black: "When I Said I Do" (#31)
It's another part of the Country invasion!!! These people are like cockroaches: you stamp out a couple of them, and then you find another one deeper in your house. This one went to #31! Away with you! Away!!!!
It's Country, so of course it's sappy as all hell. You know that you either get sappy love song or silly (sometimes both!). They also seem to love real-life married couples doing duets too.
Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful song and all that. But once again, I have no idea why this song made the crossover but none of Black's others did.
Wow, the end of the decade is bringing us an example of *everything* from the 90s!
Ok, this video did *not* need the Bonnie & Clyde motif. And the video's a total indictment of the police! I mean, really. Ten cars following them down a lonely desert road, and they lose him and his companion? Are they incompetent? On the take? Stupid?
That being said, Edmonds may be kind of hunky and everything, but he's no Bandit.
Wow, did I just make an "old folks" statement? "Everything was better in my day, Sonny! Eh? What's that? Let me turn up my hearing aid."
7) Mo Thugs Family: "Ghetto Cowboy" (#15)
How can we end the decade without a rap hit? At least it's kind of original (though all of the bad words are being bleeped out, so you really can't get any idea of what he's "singing" about).
Give them props for that.
The song still sucks, though.
8) Marc Nelson: "15 Minutes" (#27)
And we end the decade on a soulful note with a song that's blatantly sexual! For some reason, this song just does not match a sci-fi video motif. What was the director thinking?
And what is that woman wearing? Plastic boobs? Is that what we're doomed to see in the future?
Ok, I'm listening to the words to this song, and they're actually *very* bad. All I've got is 15 minutes. "No time to talk. Just come and bring me off." Um, excuse me??????
Yeah, sister! You tell him!!!
They have devices for that, don't you know. Besides, she's busy making you breakfast. And cleaning the house (or do you call that the "Living Pod?") And what have *you* got to do that's so important, Mister High and Mighty Soul Singer????? Fifteen minutes?
Did your hand fall off?
Lady, I feel for you. Trapped in that Habitat Dwelling with a loser like this guy.
I don't think I want to know what's been edited out of this song.
*shiver*
And there you go! We have now come to the end of the decade. The 1990s went in cycles, starting with some decent one-hit wonders, then sinking into some kind of rap funk that just made doing these (and perhaps reading these) kind of depressing. Then we got out of that in the later 90s and the music quality vastly improved.
Soul music one-hit wonders seem to be sprinkled all over the decade, as artists tried to capitalize on the success of groups like Boyz II Men, Bell Biv Devoe, and the like.
The musical battlefield was littered with the decaying remains of these artists, successful for a brief moment in time, but then forgotten.
Or, sometimes even worse, remembered for only the one thing despite trying to become more than that.
Of course, some of them deserved to become one-hit wonders, and you wonder how even *that* song became popular.
What have I learned after 40 weeks of this? Not to mention all of the 80s ones I have done?
That it actually takes a lot to make your ears bleed.
Oh, you were expecting something about "perseverance" and "regularity" and the like? I did learn those too.
But the ear-bleeding thing is the most important part.
Speaking of "regularity," I'm going to take next week off. It's been 40 weeks (actually, 39 weeks, as I did the first two episodes in the same weekend) of doing this every Sunday (or every weekend, if I had to do a Saturday one) without fail, and I want a break.
And then....
We move on to the 2000s!
That's right. We're going to just keep on moving forward, never looking back (because this might be gaining on you)
And since we're now in the 2010s decade, I can safely do a 2000s decade countdown.
Will the music be any better?
Can it get any worse?
Don't answer that.
Those of you who have stayed around through all 40 episodes, I thank you very much. I hope you've enjoyed these as much as I've enjoyed writing them. You can leave your comments (and your cash, because I've got bills, you know) at the bottom of this post to let me know what you've thought of them.
I appreciate my regular commenters, and I hope you stick with me through the next series!!
So the party is winding down, the bouncers are starting to let any riff-raff in (both this guy:
and this guy
and I have mastered the "pictures in parentheses" grammatical conundrum!!!! I rule!!!!!) and it's time to call it a night.
Don't forget to clean up after yourselves, though. On this blog's budget, I can't afford cleaners.
I've never really been much of a "platformer" gamer. I never played the various Mario games; Donkey Kong was enjoyable at the time, but I hold no real fond memories of it other than as just one of the many coin-op games I played as a kid.
Recently, however, I've been getting into some of the more recent platforming type games. Comic Jumper kind of got me started. I've now gotten used to the frustrating aspect of playing levels again and again, learning the patterns of the jumps or enemies, trying to make that one perfect series of jumps to get to the next level. Trying, and often failing miserably. Until finally, it works!
Twisted Pixel, the creators of Comic Jumper, did another platformer last year, called Splosion Man. In Comic Jumper, you can actually "buy" a couple of extra Splosion Man levels, so after completing that game, it was almost a given that I buy this one. (Keep in mind that this is only available on Xbox Live Arcade, though, if this intrigues you)
(Looks happy, don't he?)
After finally completing the game, I'd have to say that Splosion Man is even more worth the money than Comic Jumper was, because it doesn't have the same flaws. It's a very back-to-basics platforming game with modern graphics and concepts. There are no weapons to be horribly underpowered. It's just you jumping around, using the environments to their best advantage to move on to the next level and avoid getting killed. It's Mario on steroids, just with a different kind of jump.
Splosion Man jumps by exploding. Yes, you read that right. You push *any* of the four main buttons, and he explodes. If you're moving, he'll jump into the air in that direction. If you're against a wall, you'll push off that wall and move higher (that's how you can jump to higher levels, with some controlled wall-exploding). You can explode 3 times before wearing out. You must have contact with a platform or wall for a period of time to replenish your explosion. Either that, or exploding on top of one of the myriads versions of barrels will also rejuvenate you.
(Jumping up the walls before they contract)
The premise...ok, I'm not sure exactly what the premise is. These evil scientists did something to you, turning you into Splosion Man. But somehow you escaped, and you're trying to escape the entire complex. That's 50 levels. These scientists must be billionaires.
Hazards in the game vary from killer robots, gun turrets that will shoot you up unless you disable (i.e. explode next to and kill) the scientist controlling it), huge vats of bubbling green acid, rising water levels that you must get higher and higher to avoid, and so many others. The level design is deliciously wicked, so many kudos to Twisted Pixel for that.
What really makes the game fun, though, is the presentation. As you can see, the graphics are very bright. But there's also the sound, and Splosion Man himself. The main music sounds like it came out of some 60's party movie, but there are also different themes depending on your actions. There's a hilarious song when you pick up one of the huge donut-eating scientists to use as a gun shield (the song? "Donuts Go Nuts"). If you make it all the way through the game, there's a wonderful live-action video with a great song too, which makes watching the credits a lot easier to tolerate.
Finally, there's what Games Radar calls "a lovely, bromantic ballad written to ‘Splosion Man" called "The Splode Beneath My Splosion"
In addition to the music, there's just the overall cuteness of Splosion Man himself. If you let him rest, he'll do various things like juggle one-handed, do jumping jacks, do some head-banging action, or a number of other things. As you run from one side of a level to another, he'll sometimes hold his arms out and pretend he's an airplane coming in for a landing (even down to making the airplane sound!). He never gets visibly frustrated, no matter how many times you've killed him. He's just an all-around happy guy.
There's also just something hilariously twisted about "killing" mad scientists and having them explode into deli meat products.
(Now I'm hungry)
The levels are challenging without being too difficult. If you're an experienced platformer, you'll probably have less trouble than I did. Some of the levels involve exploding in the air again and again and again, sometimes using barrels to propel yourself onward multiple times, using extreme precision. If you don't make that jump exactly when you need to, it's very likely you'll fall into the acid and have to start over.
Thankfully, the checkpoint system is pretty forgiving. There are some sequences that you'll find yourself frustratingly repeating over and over because you keep dying, but you never have to go *too* far back. That is, unless you are playing hardcore mode (unlocked when you complete the basic game). In that mode, there are no checkpoints, and as soon as something hits you, it kills you (you can survive being shot in the basic game, for example). You still have to complete a level once you start it, or you have to do it all over again. There are no in-level saves. This can kind of get annoying when you're having so much trouble with a level that it takes you half an hour to finish it.
But that's my problem, not the game's.
In my review of Comic Jumper, I mentioned that you might want to wait until it hits the "bargain bin" on XBLA before getting it, unless you were a true fan of the genre. That definitely does not apply to Splosion Man. If you like platformers at all, and if you are an Xbox gamer, you have to get this game.
A couple of video games posts today, just to lighten the mood from a very serious week.
This is for the older folks here, though the rest of you can take part too (see below).
Many of us love video games. Some people have some very fond memories of their first console, be it SNES or PS1 or whatever.
But some of us go back even further, and remember vividly the time when the arcade was the favorite hangout for masses of kids. Back when it wasn't Chuck-E-Cheese, but Showbiz Pizza.
And back when they had video games there instead of just Skeetball and Dance Dance Revolution (or whatever the hell they have there now...do they even have a few video games?).
Back when Aladdin's Castle was king.
And Dragon's Lair was the cutting edge.
I grew up on coin-ops, playing them even more than my Atari 2600.
I have a lot of fond memories of hanging out for an hour or two at the local arcade at the mall, playing tons of different games. Dig Dug, Donkey Kong, Missile Command and Space Invaders, and so many others.
But my fondest coin-op memory is not actually from an arcade. It's from where I worked in high school.
My senior year of high school, I worked at Ganzo's, a Mexican restaurant in Davenport, Iowa. As an aside, if you're ever in Davenport and have a hankering for Mexican food, you have to stop in there...it's delicious, and I stop in there whenever I'm home.
Anyway, there was always a couple of video games in there (still are, actually, with Galaga last time I was there), and I would go in to work sometimes an hour early and play one game in particular: Operation Wolf.
This game was so awesome, and it was one of those that would let you continue if you put another quarter in before 30 seconds was up after you lost. I played that thing almost to the end, pumping numerous dollars into it. It was really hard to stop and go to work at the allotted time, but I was a conscientious kid. I couldn't play after work because I was in high school and had to get home, but I loved that game to death.
So what are some of your favorite arcade (or just coin-op) memories?
And so you young whipper-snappers don't feel left out, what about your favorite console memory?
I've seen a lot of Call of Duty articles recently due to the recent launch of Black Ops (I haven't read that many, but I've seen them).
There is one that did make me just stop and stare for a minute.
Did you know that Call of Duty is keeping people from having sex?
According to The Sun in the UK, that's definitely happening. It seems that some people are so into the Call of Duty franchise that hanky panky takes second place in their mind (or even lower, if that 13-year-old idiot keeps killing you in Team Deathmatch) to playing the game. (and did I just massively date myself with that reference?)
("Look. Go away and get laid or something")
The Sun highlights two stories.
First, there is Jay & Janine Foulgar. It seems Jay is so into the game that he does stuff like disappear from weddings, only to be found playing the game in the hotel room with another wedding guest (the Sun doesn't say whether the other guest survived when he told his wife where he was). And, of course, there's the sex.
"It has affected our sex life. There have been nights when I've been waiting for Jay to come to bed then woken up at 3am to find he's still playing against a stranger on a different continent.
"Now we have Lauren, Jay has had to calm down a bit. I was over the moon when he volunteered to get up to do night feeds - until I realised why. During the night he will feed Lauren then rock her to sleep in his chair while playing the game in silence."
Sounds dedicated, don't he?
Then there's Jodie Gurney & Chris Jackson, where *she's* the one who's addicted to the game.
"He says: "Her gaming has taken up romantic time before. The moment will come for us to have some 'alone time' and I'll think she's almost finished the game. I'll give her a kiss but then she says, 'Just one more game, one more game'."
Jodie admits that she will get up in the small hours to play and puts testing her abilities ahead of going out with friends too."
Is this what it comes down to? Will there literally be *no* babies born in July 2011, due to the Black Ops release on Tuesday? Should the government do something about this? (Sorry, couldn't resist).
Should somebody sue Activision? (Don't all nod your head at once). I'm just waiting for the inevitable conspiracy theories that Activision planted this story out there in order to garner even more publicity (you know, because nobody's heard of this game). You know that some people are stupid enough to believe that.
While this is a light-hearted article about the lack of sex lives of some gamers, it does highlight a serious issue. That of game addiction. Yes, it's funny to laugh about foregoing sex to play one more game of Domination (the non-kinky version). But is putting games ahead of *any* social interactions really a good thing?
We all experience it a little bit. I've been playing Splosion Man for a while now, and the "just one more level" urge has kept me up later than I've wanted to be quite a few times. But is that any different than the "just one more chapter" feeling you get from a book? Both are signs that the game or book are very enjoyable.
In the meantime, we can laugh at the image of the look on Janine Foulgar's face when she walked into that hotel room.
"Janine, 32, says: "Call Of Duty has been like the other woman in our relationship for years."
Maybe it's time to find another guy? Maybe someone who says "Wii?" (or is that "Oui?")
We've all seen it. We've been out to eat at a restaurant, dining with our significant other, and watched as a 4-year-old runs all over the place, getting in the waitress' way and generally making your dinner hell through all of the commotion.
You look at each other and say "Where are the parents?" or "Where's the mom?" (Funny how we never say "Where's the dad?", eh?) Some might even say "there oughtta be a law."
But really, should there be?
Do we really want to go there? Marybeth Hicks over on Ricochet (lots of good stuff over there) asks the questions: Are we free to be lousy parents?
As she states at the beginning of her post, there is a difference between "bad" parents and parents who *should* be prosecuted, such as abusive or neglectful parents who victimize their kids.
We're talking the "bad" category here.
Many good points are made in the post or in the comments, including this one: For those of you who think there *should* be laws about bad parents, who's going to make the decision? You? Me? Some government bureaucrat who takes a kid away because the new mother had a poppy seed bagel? Do you really want the government making those kinds of decisions? It screws up the ones it *should* be making!
"And what about that poor kid of his? It's not the child's fault that he was unlucky enough to be born to a stinky father. Shouldn't someone rescue him?
Here's the rub: This is the mentality that is bringing us legislation such as that in Louisiana which took effect last week, requiring schools to refer to the state's Department of Families and Children any parent who is at least three days in arrears in payments for school lunches. (Read more about it here)."
One commenter also says that these kids, and these parents, shouldn't be given a pass. I agree with that. We, as a society, should speak up. But the government?
Also keep in mind that we are seeing just a snapshot of the child's behaviour. We are not seeing the whole picture.
A commenter makes this point:
"I have 4 kids and each presents different challenges. Eventually you are going to have to pick your battles and concede some.
If you catch me conceeding one and that's all you see, you might mistake me for a bad parent. But you don't know of the 100 battles I won before that time."
In addition, there might be other reasons the child's misbehaving, as one of my blogging friends knows very intimately. We just don't know when we only see a 30-minute block out of that child's life.
To somebody like me, who will never be a parent, this comes down to a societal issue: Do we want the government actually determining who is a good and a bad parent?
That's not a slippery slope. That's an avalanche.
(Don't worry. I will get off this Nanny State issue soon. There's just been so much in the news recently. I'll try to make my next post more fun)
It's November 11. Remembrance Day, or Veterans Day, depending on where you live.
Do people really remember what this day is for?
I hope they do. This is the day where we remember the sacrifices of the brave men and women who have fought to preserve our freedom. Those who have fallen in battle. Those who have given maybe not their lives but their health, their ability to live a good life. Or maybe just those who come through physically unscathed but have sacrificed the life they were living before. All to serve their country. All to protect us from those who would do us harm.
Some may not know that there is a reason that this day is commemorated on November 11.
This was the day the First World War ended. On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918, hostilities that had been going on for four years in Europe (and elsewhere around the world, though not as intensely) ceased. The bloodshed stopped, at least for the time being. That war was called the "War to End All Wars," because it was thought that no human being would willingly go through the horror that World War I inflicted on the lives of millions of people.
Unfortunately, they were wrong.
In November of 1919, Remembrance Day was dedicated by the British King George V, to be observed throughout the British Commonwealth. Separately, Woodrow Wilson declared that it be celebrated in the United States.
The symbol of Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth, the poppy, was inspired by Canadian Lt. Col. John MacCrae's poem "In Flanders Field," where the poppy imagery is very prevalent.
In 1953, the US changed the name from Remembrance Day to Veterans Day, to celebrate all veterans, not just World War I. While the name hasn't changed in all of the Commonwealth countries, the celebration itself has also become one of all military personnel.
To some, Remembrance Day is just another day off of work or school (except in certain Canadian provinces), and businesses don't necessarily close in the US either. Just like Memorial Day, I sometimes feel the meaning of this day has been lost. Memorial Day has become a day of picnics, cook-outs and family get-togethers. Remembrance Day doesn't even have that.
We should always remember and honour those who have fought and died for our country.
But on this day, please make the extra effort to do so.
No, I wasn't betrayed by Lisa, but I was a bit bewitched by her last book, Bewitched & Betrayed. This is book 4 in the Raine Benares series of fantasy novels, a series that I have quite enjoyed, even though I've only read books 2 and 4. I may have to rectify that, though I have to say that Shearin does such a great job of making each book understandable that I don't feel the *need* to go back in order to understand what's going on.
